17/10/2011

My nightmares are back. You may be thinking 'pshh nightmares aren't that bad, it's just in your mind'
Well, that's what scares me the most. It's in my mind. These nightmares haunt me for the rest of the day.
What are my nightmares about you ask? Serial killers, death, violence, all that jazz.
Last night I had a dream I was a patient in a mental hospital (well I was someone else, but I cold see everything they saw). The doctors done horrible stuff to me, they beat me and done loads of other terrible stuff. Then I turned psycho and went round killing the doctors. 

Anywho that's enough of my terrible nightmares...
I need to have a rant.
You see at college, I have 3 lecturers for my lesson and today we had Jan. Jan does different shapes, but she makes it seem more like an art lesson not a fashion and textiles one.
Firstly, she makes us go to the beach and collect stones so we can get inspiration from them. Personally, I can't get inspiration from stones because they are boring as hell.
Secondly, she basically picks on me, Amy and Sam and makes us do stuff that we don't want to do. She just nags and nags at us and complains when we're doing other things, like drawing a dress! Excuse me but last time I checked I was in fashion and textiles, dresses are associated with that!

Rant over.
Toodles.

16/10/2011

Story of the Little Boy


Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: “How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?”
The surgeon said, “I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.”
Sally said, “Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?”
The surgeon asked, “Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university.”
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.
“Would you like a lock of his hair?” the nurse asked.
Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, “It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else. “I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘Mom, I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.” She went on, “My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.”
Sally walked out of Children’s mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son’s room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:
“Dear Mom,
I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause I’m not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don’t be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn’t look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God’s knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That’s when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn’t allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him ‘Where was He when I needed him?’ “God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I’ve written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn’t that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I’m, sure the food will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don’t hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I’m glad because I couldn’t stand that pain anymore and God couldn’t stand to see me hurt so much, either. That’s when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.”

I just found this story on a Facebook page called InspireYourLiving and I just had to share it.
When I read it, I just burst out crying, it's so heat breaking, yet heart warming at the same time.
Toodles.

13/10/2011

Thank you!

I would love to thank Hazel from Pablo's Angel for awarding me the You're an Angel! Award!


This award has honestly made my whole day!
I would also like to thank you for giving the name Princess!
You're such a sweet person! Much love! <3

On the side note, in the little village where I live, there's this traditional feast that happens once a year, there's all sorts of stuff like parades, a fair ground, ox roasting etc... I went there with my sister and two nieces. I am happy to say I'm a proud owner of a penguin teddy (to add to my collection, I LOOOOVE penguins!!!). I called him Rupert!

Toodles!

12/10/2011

12th October 2011

Hi there!
First of all, I'd like to share my look of the day for you.

So, this is how I done my hair and makeup for college today.
Just a simple bun and my trademark messy fringe for the hair. For the make up, it was pin-up inspired. Red lips, nude eyes with a bit of eyeliner, although I didn't do the cats eye flick because I was lazy.
I have miniature expanders in my ears now! In one ear, I have 4mm and in the other I have 3mm, yes I plan on expanding them a bit bigger.
If you're wondering about the top, it is a Drop Dead one (Drop Dead is a famous make by Oli Sykes, you will know this if you're a lover of heavy metal/screamo music!)


Secondly, I have my halloween costume planned! Well, kind of...
It's the Chesire cat from Alice: Madness Returns (video game).

The first picture is Alice with the Chesire dress. The second picture is the actual Chesire cat.
I'm not 100% sure which one to base my look on because if I want to do the cat one I'd have to draw a huge smile on my face. Oh well, I guess either way I'll be wearing the dress what Alice is wearing.
Also, the Chesire cat has a ring in one ear, which may also be difficult for me since I have expanded my ears....












Here is a picture of my attempted Chesire cat grin.
In all honesty, I like it, but I think I need to watch a few tutorials on how to do the grin, because I think that would be awesome for my costume!
Also I need to do my hair darker, I need to get some grey body paint, a grey dress and some grey shoes (I can then draw cat feet on them)
In all honesty, I really love how the eyes turned out, just a bit of improvement needed!
I look so angry!

Anywho, I think that's all for now... I will be forgetting something because it's Zoe's forgetfulness week! Seriously, yesterday I was an hour late for college because I thought we were meant to be in at 11... It turns out it was 10. Oh dear. *facepalm*

Toodles!


11/10/2011

I don't think I have cried so much in my life over my body!
It doesn't help that I've had an injection and that has made me more emotional but today, I looked in the mirror and all I saw was bones so I burst out crying! :(
I really need help putting weight on! I just can't! No matter how much I eat, I just don't put anything on and now I'm starting to hate mirrors...

So as you can all tell, I'm having a really bad time and in one of them moods where looking into a mirror will make me cry.

I'm going to make an appointment at the doctors soon though to see if they can help me.

To all those people with anorexia, there's nothing wrong at all with a bit of meat on your bones! Seriously! Curves are better then bones...

Bad thoughts and broken mirrors....
Toodles

09/10/2011

I just got back from hospital...

Yes, you read that correct!
Yours truly just got back from hospital...
Why, you ask? Well, here's the story;

Lets start off at 7:00am, I was still sleepy but ever so hungry, so I went down to get some food. (The sleepy bit is important in this story). Ok, so, I was being all groggy and moody whilst slumping down the stairs, I turned into the living room and my mam laughed at me, saying I had funny bed hair. I heard my dad in the kitchen making some toast already, so I went in to ask him to make me some. I got into the kitchen and then suddenly, I went light-headed, causing me to fall and hit my head off the corner of the bench.
Yes, I split my head open.

There's my story! How unfortunate am I.
Also, I have to go to the doctors tomorrow for a flu jab and my contraceptive implant took out. I am going to be ill again, YAY!

Just in case you get all worried (well I do hope you don't, I don't like it when people worry) it's fine! My head is all glued back together and there was no damage to my brain!
Also, this is the second time I have split my head open.... You guys know how clumsy I am!

Anywho, toodles
I'm sorry people! I haven't blogged in a while, I have excuses!

I've spent most of the week in bed trying to sweat my cold out... It worked! My cold has only lasted a week instead of a month!
So yeah, as you can guess I've had nothing at all to blog about.
Another excuse is that I've been playing on Sims again. I made the Simpsons house on it!
Yeah, Zoe needs a life. This baby took me 5 hours to do. I done interior and exterior and it took A LOT of research on what the Simpson's house looks like.... And then my dog decided to walk across my laptop and it all crashed and I needed to restarted. I lost the house. Yes, I cried.

So, today... Or yesterday since it is now half 1 in the morning, my niece came into my room on the morning and she gave me these fake vampire teeth. 
You guys are lucky, you get to see me when I'm ill and just woken up. 
But yeah, my sisters saw the picture and they both said I look completely different.

Oh! Looks like I do have stuff to tell you!
Pretty soon in college I have to draw *drumroll please* A NAKED WOMAN !
I have NO idea what it has to do with fashion (for all who don't know, I am studying Fashion and Clothing at college), but in all honesty, most of the stuff we do is more like art, not fashion. We have to draw rocks for crying out loud!

Anywho, back to naked woman... A chunky woman (hope this doesn't offend anyone! It's not meant to be offensive at all!) is going to be coming into my class and taking off all her clothes and then we have to draw her. Awesome.

Anyway, I've finished with my excuses!
I'm going to go and read Alice in Wonderland :D

Toodles!